I first visited Japan when I was still in high-school. It was a family trip and our cousins came along. We visited Tokyo.
The second time I was in Japan it was to visit my sister who was studying in Osaka. She was new there and I was with my parents.
The third time I was with my best friend. It was my first trip to Japan without any fixed itinerary. My best friend and I only knew that we were going to Okinawa to see some friends and we were going to fly back to Osaka after to visit my sister.
I asked my sister to write everything I needed to know in Japan in Japanese so that in case we got lost and face communication barrier, I could just flash them my iPhone and have them lead me to the right direction.
Let’s just say we got lost still. We found out that there was a better way of getting around.
But that’s just the one lesson I learn from experience.
Here are the unspoken social rules in Japan that I learn from my sister:
- You do not pick up your phone in the train
I remember calling my sister one day and she whispered through the phone saying she’s on the train.
“So? Why can’t you talk?”
Apparently she told me you are not supposed to talk loudly on any public transport as it is seen as being rude. In order to talk on the phone, you have to make a sound and because the train is often so silent, a mere hello can be easily heard so people just rather not.
- You don’t talk loudly or ‘walk loudly’ in the house
We were just walking around her house when she told us to ‘walk slower’ because ‘her downstairs neighbor can hear our footsteps’. That was one of the weirdest request I have ever gotten in my life.
Let’s just say Japanese loves their Zen so loud noises, like foot thumping is frowned upon.
- Make noise when you eat your Ramen
I always think you shouldn’t make noise when you’re eating. Well, my mom always tells me to chew softly but apparently Japan is one place where eating loudly is not bad! Yeay!
In Japan, the louder you slurp on to your Ramen, you’re telling the chef that his food is super good. On the other hand, not making any sound tells them you are not liking their Ramen, and we don’t want to do that. Every Ramen is good in my eyes.
- Japanese eats with their eyes
If you have ever been to Japan, you will notice that most of their restaurants have a visual display of their menu. This is because they eat with their eyes. If it doesn’t look good, it’s probably not good.
My favourite part though is that your food is suppose to come out exactly the way it is displayed on the menu. If it doesn’t come out looking the same, you can actually decline it.
- Don’t refuse gifts, although you should pretend to refuse it at first
Giving gifts is a tradition in Japan. Honestly, I’d say it’s a tradition in most Asian countries. You give it to your family, friends, colleague or anyone who’s helped you.
However, immediately taking it would be considered rude. So is refusing them.
My sister has a foster family who runs a bakery store near her house. Whenever I come in to visit they will always ask me to take a bread home. I usually refuse because they have always been so nice to me. However whenever my sister is there with me she will always tell me to accept their offer.
- If you are taking pictures of people, especially kids – ask for permission
Quite frankly I like this unspoken social rule and it’s the only one I can relate to easily. There are just so many problems in this world and taking advantage of children is just one of them. There are plenty of people misusing these photos on the dark web so I feel it’s only fair that if we want to take pictures of other people, especially kids that we ask for permission either from the teacher or their parents.
These are just some of the unspoken social rules my sister told me during my two week stay. Others that I do not mention include, not to rock your feet up and down in public transport because it shows your impatient. The fact that dressing up to only one piece of attire makes you sexy. (I was wearing a knee-length picnic dress but I was getting the invitation from random guys to join their barbecue because I was dressing up sexy. I then found out the rest of the girls either wear socks or wrap a cardigan around their neck even if they weren’t going to wear it)
It is also worth mentioning that while not all Japanese people speak English, your best bet at finding people who do is to approach the workers. Traffic police and even retail store employees often speak English and will be happy to help you as they regard it as part of their job. Just remember to always say arigatou and bow.
finawolf 